1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: -
Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here...
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps
on your feet...
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: -
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: -
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Is! The "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer: -
No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally
also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years...
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: -
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a her wedding, and you friend announces ask...
Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: -
No, he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the
money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: -
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry
or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: -
No, it’s autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your
mouth...
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: -
No it won’t. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: -
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in
flames!!!